The Real Philomena: NPR Radio Interview and Commentary

A radio interview with the real woman named Philomena who lost her three year old child to a forced adoption in Ireland. The movie, Philomena, is a fictionalized version of her search for her son.

I am glad that the discussion of intercountry adoption has been slowly turning in favor of examining what adoption means to the natural parents and their lsot children. This is a start. Discussion leads to action.

The movie depicts the result of barbaric behavior from Catholic nuns in intentionally separating a mother from her toddler son – because the mother “sinned” for being pregnant “out of wedlock”. The lesson? Realizing a mother loves her child, with or without marriage.

The further lesson? Bringing out to the open the cruel treatment mothers received in Ireland is not limited to Ireland. It has happened, and still does, all over the world. Babies are stolen and given up in forced adoptions all the time.

This movie, Philomena, quietly invades the viewer’s heart and mind. What are we doing? Why are we doing it? How can we stop it? What are the humane solutions to teen pregnancy? What are the solutions to religious indoctrination that persecuted Philomena way back pver 50 years ago ? How can we educate deeply religious people and institutions as to the damage their social control has had, and still does, on vulnerable mothers and their innocent children?

There has to be a better way. Punishment of mother because she got pregnant before marriage is not the way to go. Removing her child from her caused Philomena a lifetime of pain. Her son, like millions of stolen children, grew up believing his mother didn’t want him.

This should not happen.

Now that you’ve seen the movie, do something. Get busy. We need you to help put a stop to stories like this. Contact American Adoption Congress, Adoption Crossroads, as a start. There are other groups, such as Origins USA. Find a local organization that is set for social and political action.

This is a side note to Mannix Flynn: the questioning has begun. People are starting to ask why this happened. People are asking who should be held accountable for this tragedy.

 

Backing Up Mannix Flynn on the Meaning of the Movie “Philomena”

After seeing this movie — Philomena — I now know what the writer of this blog post means. He is dead on: script writing and movie making need to be followed up with social and political action. The writer and star of the movie needs to take this further into real action to put an end to this torture of mother and child, and the millions of women and infants and children torn apart by adoption. When will we stop seeing this as fodder for films, but additionally as an introduction to real social and political change? Get involved! This tragedy did not only happen in Ireland, but all over the world and in domestic America: the Catholic Church stealing babies from girls and women because of the notion of being “fallen women” — punishment for being pregnant outside of marriage. This is barbaric treatment of women and their babies.

FORCED ADOPTION APOLOGY DETAILS RELEASED for Australia

 

UNCLASSIFIED

Nicola Roxon 1.jpg

THE HON MARK DREYFUS QC MP

Attorney-General Minister for Emergency Management

MEDIA RELEASE

22 February 2013

FORCED ADOPTION APOLOGY DETAILS RELEASED

On 21 March 2013, the Prime Minister, the Hon Julia Gillard MP, will deliver a national apology, on behalf of the Australian Government to people affected by forced adoption or removal policies and practices.

The event will commence at 10:30am with formal proceedings commencing at 11am in the Great Hall of Parliament House, Canberra. The apology will be followed by a lunch from 12:30pm on the Federation Mall lawns of Parliament House.

The national apology is a public event and will be open to all. Seating will be available for approximately 800 people in the Great Hall, with additional standing room.  Due to the large number of people expected to attend the apology, seating in the Great Hall will not be pre-allocated.  There will also be other vantage points within Parliament House for people to view the apology on broadcast screens.

 

The motion of apology will be moved in the House of Representatives and the Senate following the event in the Great Hall.

 

The apology will be offered as a significant step in the healing process for the mothers, fathers, and now-adult children who were forcibly separated, siblings and extended family members.

 

The Australian Government has provided $120,000 to support organisations to assist people affected by forced adoption practices to attend the national apology in Canberra.  Information can be found on the forced adoptions apology page of the Attorney-General’s Department website atwww.ag.gov.au/forcedadoptionsapologyor by calling 02 6141 3030.

 

People attending the apology are invited to RSVP for catering purposes. Please RSVP by emailingforcedadoptionsapology@ag.gov.auor calling 02 6141 3030.

 

For those who cannot attend arrangements are being made for the event to be filmed and a live feed made available to broadcasters. Proceedings will also be streamed live from the Parliament House Website at www.aph.gov.au/live

 

Contact: Attorney-General’s Office 02 6277 7300 or Attorney-General’s Department 02 6141 2500

 

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KIND REGARDS FROM THE PARC TEAM

 

Elaine Bishop

Administrative Officer

Post Adoption Resource Centre

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T   02 9504 6788

F   02 9570 2699

 

Level 5

7-11 The Avenue

HURSTVILLE  NSW  2220

 

Locked Bag 6002

HURSTVILLE  NSW  1481

 

www.benevolent.org.au

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Joe Soll’s Video on Coersion and Single Mom

Coersion and Single Mom

The effects of the loss of a baby on women who lost them to adoption

* * * *

Joe Soll’s video is in direct response to Dan Rather’s story introducing his upcoming show on May 1st, 2012:
Adoption or Abduction? — Forced Adoptions for Unwed Mothers:  http://news.yahoo.com/forced-adoptions-for-unwed-mothers-around-the-globe.html

Re-Post from Daily Kos: Adoption Apologies Expected in Australia – Why Not in America?

This must be shared:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/13/1074096/-Adoption-Apologies-Expected-in-Australia-Why-Not-in-America

Tue Mar 13, 2012 at 02:46 PM PDT

Adoption Apologies Expected in Australia – Why Not in America?

by jdelbalzoFollow

Tue Mar 13, 2012 at 02:46 PM PDTIn recent weeks, the Australian Senate inquiry into past adoption practices urged the government to apologize for separating thousands of familiesin the decades following World War II.  The inquiry, which began in 2010, revealed that illegal and unethical tactics were used to convince young, unmarried mothers to surrender their babies to adoptive homes.  In some cases, mothers were drugged and forced to sign papers relinquishing custody.  In others, women were told that their children had died.  Single mothers did not have access to the financial support given to widows or abandoned wives, and many were told by doctors, nurses, and social workers that giving away their children was the right thing to do.Books like Ann Fessler’s The Girls Who Went Away and Rickie Solinger’s Beggars and Choosers remind us that the tactics used to procure adoptable babies in Australia were no less of a problem here in the United States.  Stories abound of young mothers who were sent to maternity homes, denied contact with their families and friends, and forced to return home without their babies.  Single, American mothers were also denied financial support and told that their children would be better off without them.  In some cases, they too were told that their babies had died.  Many signed away their rights while drugged and exhausted after child-birth.  Others were threatened with substantial medical bills if they didn’t surrender.  These unethical practices were used against an estimated 4 million mothersin the United States.Where is their apology?  Where is the apology for their children?

While it’s true that mothers in Australia fought hard for the recognition they’ve begun to receive, American mothers have organized similarly.  When I first began researching adoption fifteen years ago, mothers on both continents had already been working for years to gather information, raise awareness, and seek restitution.  Exiled moms in America vastly outnumber their Aussie counter-parts, and yet, their tremendous losses are scarcely acknowledged here.

There’s one very simple difference, however, between the two countries.  Though both have seen a drop in the number of infant adoptions taking place since the early 1970s, social and governmental attitudes toward adoption are quite different.  While some politicians have recently tried to revive adoption in Australia, infants are seldom adopted away from their families.  Young women not only have solid access to contraception and abortion services, but those who choose to continue unplanned pregnancies are encouraged to keep their children.  Welfare programs support this goal as well.  Adoption itself isn’t a big business in Australia.

The United States, on the other hand, continues to promote adoption.  In 2001, it was estimated that the business of adoption brought in $1.4 billion a year, with an estimated growth percentage in the double digits.  Maternity homes have made a sickening comeback, and anti-abortion “crisis pregnancy centers” (often affiliated with profitable local adoption agencies) promote adoption as “the loving choice” even over parenting.  Despite what professionals know about the negative psychological impact of adoption on surrendering parents and adopted children, Americans as a whole tend to view it as a positive institution.

Admitting that mothers and their children were wrongly separated in the decades preceding Roe v. Wade could, conceivably, open up modern adoption practices for public criticism as well.  Having worked with mothers and fathers who have lost children to adoption in the past ten years, I can confidently say that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Today, open adoption is commonplace.  Parents are assured that they can maintain some contact with their children over the years.  Some are promised pictures and yearly updates while others are told that they will be treated as members of the family.  Few are warned that open adoptions are frequently closed by the adopters in the weeks or years following finalization.  I’ve encountered more than a handful of mothers who say they never would have surrendered had they known this could happen.

In addition to false promises, other coercive tactics are still alive and well.  Some professionals – doctors, nurses, social workers, and even school counselors – advocate adoption even to clients who have expressed no interest in giving up their babies.  Young women are still told that if they love their babies, they will give them away.  Prospective adopters advertise for babies in magazines and online, and expectant mothers are encouraged to “make an adoption plan” and meet the would-be adopters before the baby is born.  In some cases, the adopters even join them in the delivery room.  None of this is done in Australia, where it’s wisely acknowledged as putting undue pressure on the mother to go through with an adoption she may no longer want.

If Americans admit that adoptions were conducted unethically or illegally in the 1950s-1970s, they may just have to admit that the industry is still as rife with corruption as it ever was.  The numbers may be lower now, but if anti-choice, anti-contraception politicians have their way, they will be on the rise again soon.  An apology for past practices is warranted, but what we need even more than that are safeguards for the future.

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Season of Sadness

With the recent passing of my adoptive mother and my natural father now four of my five parents are dead. Only my step mother survives.

Today marks the 55th anniversary of the death of my natural mother.

So I sadly mark their memories:

Genevieve Herr Sippel (natural mother) died March 28, 1956 at age 30.

Edward Wheeler (adoptive father) died February 15, 1982 at age 67.

Leonard Sippel (natural father) died January 11, 2011 at age 86.

Doloris Cannell Wheeler (adoptive mother) died March 12, 2011 at age 95.

The pain of loss is real. All four parents are real. All adoptees have two sets of real parents.

Truth in Adoption: How I Petitioned for My Adoption Files

I was reunited with my natural family in 1974. By 1981, I had petitioned Surrogate’s Court for my Final Order of Adoption, even though I already had a copy (see yesterday’s post).

In 1985, I petitioned Surrogate’s Court of Erie County, New York for all of my sealed adoption files. I wanted every piece of paper they had on my adoption: the signed relinquishment papers, petition to adopt, and any other paperwork. I wanted permission to seek my birth certificate, too, but was told that petitioning for the birth record was a separate process.

Being politically correct for the time period, I used the terms “birthparents” and “birth mother” and “birth father”. Today, I would use the terms “natural parents” and “natural mother” and “natural father” because those words accurately describe the relationship. Also, these are legal terms used to designate between the natural parents, foster parents, and adoptive parents of an adoptee, although, as you will see tomorrow, the term used in legal documents to describe my natural father is “father”. That’s because he is my father and was my legal father until after he signed relinquishment papers.

So, I began with the simple petition to the court:

With the help of a law student who gave me specific statements to use and a form to follow, I typed up the following (reproduced here minus specific identifiers and other information not releveant to the general public):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My request for sealed reports and documents from Vital Statistics Office, Catholic Charities of Buffalo, and Millard Fillmore Hospital were denied. With my natural father’s permission, I obtained my medical records and my mother’s medical records from her admittance to the hospital while pregnant with me until her death three months after my birth. Because the records that were released to me from Surrogate’s Court contained most of the information I sought, I did not pursue further petitioning to Catholic Charities. Dialogue between my natural father and I filled in the blanks of where I was from birth until placed in the custody of my pre-adoptive parents, a four month period not covered by documents held by Surrogate’s Court.

Tomorrow I will present the papers I received from Surrogate’s Court.

~ ~ ~ Joan M Wheeler, BA, BSW, born Doris M Sippel, author of Forbidden Family: A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism, Trafford Publishing, Nov 2009.

Natural Mother’s Birthday Today

Happy Birth Day Mother. May you smile from the spirit world, knowing that you were, and are, loved, and missed.

My mother would have been 85 years old today, if she lived. She died 54 years ago at her age of 30 years, 5 months and 24 days. Mom lived long enough to have to five children, four girls and one boy, but not long enough to raise us. Mom gave us life and then she was gone.

I mark her birth day with both celebration of a life and a mourning of her death. Mom was born carrying the eggs that would produce her children.

I lived inside her body for 32 weeks of a difficult pregnancy. Mom  was dying while pregnant with me.

There are some who claim that a baby does not know and cannot remember that far back, but they are wrong. As I nestled inside her, I heard her voice and that of my father and my four older siblings. I heard her heartbeat. Mom’s body moved and with each step she took, I rocked back and forth. An unborn baby does not forget these primal beginnings.

I wonder what my mother’s primal memories and childhood memories were.

My mother died before she could share her stories with  her children. She died before she could fully enjoy being a mother taking care of her children throughout their lifetimes. A mother’s love was cut short when she died.

Not a day goes by without me thinking of my mother’s birth and death. A life cut short. And when she was gone, the lives of her children would be forever damaged by events that further destroyed our family: coerced relinquishment of the youngest child to an arranged adoption, displaced younger children, a sudden marriage for our father that forced thee remaining children into simultaneously grieving their mother’s death and having a new step mother to raise them.

If only our mother had lived. If only she could  have celebrated 54 more birth days with her children and her husband. The possibilities, gone now, remain mysteries. My mother’s birth remains a chance event in the scheme of life. Her innate talents and intelligence, hard wired in her genes, passed down into me, and into her grandchildren I bore. Perhaps one day, my children will have children of their own, passing millions of years of evolution through genes from my mother.

I don’t have my mother’s birth certificate. I do have her death certificate. It states her birth date and death date. Concrete evidence of her birth and her death anchor me to reality. These are the facts withheld from me because of my adoption. I wrote my book and write this blog as a testiment that no adoptee should have to suffer from  the lack of information neccessary to come to grips with life and death in order to live a productive life. No adoptive parent has the right to withhold this information from  their adoptee as my adoptive parents did when they adopted me. They knew the whole truth and deliberately lied to me. The adoption system and society’s mythical beliefs worked together to make sure I was denied pertinent facts of my personal life history.

~ ~ ~ Joan M Wheeler, BA, BSW, born Doris M Sippel, author of Forbidden Family: A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism, Trafford Publishing, Nov 2009.

Not illegitimate

Not illegitimate

Humboldt Beacon

Posted: 09/16/2010 10:47:21 AM PDT


  

  

Dear Editor,

There are obvious limitations of the current debate on adoptees’ access to their birth certificates, but people rarely think of adoptees as legitimately born.

Adoption is not only about single mothers of loss and adoptees who were illegitimate bastards. Half and full orphans are victimized by sealed and falsified birth certificates, too. The law sealing adoptees’ birth certificates was written to hide illegitimacy. Adoptees are “legitimized” by the new, amended birth certificate showing two married parents.

But I am not illegitimate! I had two legitimate parents before being relinquished and adopted! The original intent of the sealed record law does NOT apply to me or my natural mother, or my known natural father.

I’m not the only half orphan victimized by sealed and falsified birth records. Millions of other half and full orphans (domestic and foreign born) are also held captive by laws made exclusively to cover up illegitimacy. Because I am made to be a bastard by the law that confines me, I stand up for other bastards and half and full orphans who are adopted.

Though I live in New York State, orphanhood is universal. Adoptees’ rights to our sealed birth certificates are also universal. Unseal adoptees original birth certificates NOW and put a stop to falsifying new birth records that replace adoptees true record of birth. Instead, issue certified Certificates of Adoption. Leave all birth certificates intact, free from governmental confiscation and falsification.

Joan Wheeler born Doris Sippel

Reunited adoptee found by full blood siblings in 1974 at age 18

Buffalo, New York

Editor’s note: this in response to a Letter that appeared in last week’s Humboldt Beacon by Mara Rigge of Trinidad, Calif.

~ ~ ~ Joan M Wheeler, BA, BSW, born Doris M Sippel, author of Forbidden Family: A Half Orphan’s Account of Her Adoption, Reunion and Social Activism, Trafford Publishing, Nov 2009.

Video Response to Apology of Western Australia to Unmarried Mothers by Origins Inc

Video Response of Origins Inc to Apology of Western Australia to Unmarried Mothers.mov

“Official response of Origins Inc to the upcoming apology of the Western Australian State government to mothers unlawfully separated at birth from their offspring. The WA apology flagrantly excuses serious breaches of the Common law and human rights covenants and is not acceptable for that reason.” LizzyBrew