Adoption Activists are Not Afraid of The Feds, Are You?

Perhaps “Unknown” and “?” and other Federal Government entities have been monitoring online adoptees and parents-of-adoption-loss for many years. I’ve heard of other adoptee bloggers who have had their free blogs simply vanish without warning, while others are still up, but are disabled from further posting or comments.

They do not want us to tell the truth. This is a civil war without guns.

To put an end to slavery, many thousands of people lost their lives. The courageous women who fought for the right to vote were savagely beaten, jailed, and ridiculed. Gays and lesbians face violence and death for being who they are. (I highly recommend that everyone see the play, The Laramie Project. Matthew Shepard should not have been beaten to death. His mother is a courageous woman.)

Any adoption reformers, or friendly strangers, who want to read and post comments, can certainly use your online usernames for your security. While many people do not like the Comment Moderation, I have had to do that as a filtering system to weed out certain people who have nothing better to do than harass with petty nonsense. I am not engaging, nor allowing, childish bickering. While it is true, as some of my former commenters pointed out in my most recent former blog, I should leavein the nonsense and my readers will know the difference. Trouble is, I will not give certain people a voice on my website because this is a matter of their violating past (and present) police Orders of Protection.

So, here’s another nugget to think about: a while back, two gay men in a committed relationship won the right to adopt and put both of their names on their adoptee’s new birth certificate. This was seen as a victory in the gay and lesbian community. Wrong. It is unethical for one persecuted group to usurp the rights of another and call it a victory. In this case, two committed gay men won the right to adopt. That is a victory. The immorality and denying the rights of another comes in when one takes a closer look at the ‘new’ birth certificate issue. All adoptees suffer the indignation of government seizure of their birth certificates for the perceived benefit of the government then making a false Certificate of Live Birth for every adoption. This is immoral. It should be illegal.

Perhaps I am leaving no room for debate and that’s why people are not commenting.

I do not think so.

I have seen plenty of blog posts on other blogs where people write in great detail of their feelings and experiences concerning this great American (and Global) tradition of falsifying adoptees’ birth certificates. A few people posted over the years that someone should gather up these individual stories into a book. That sounds like a project I would like to do. So, please feel free to leave a comment on my blog posts and/or on the Pages on Birth Certificates or Anti Adoption.

As Basdardette pointed out in her blog post:, there is much to think about from the negative publicity of that ABC article I agreed to be a part of. (Thanks, Basdardette, I sure did need a bit of humor!)

I hope my readers now realize I DID NOT SAY I would have preferred to live in FOSTER CARE rather than in my adoptive home, like that reporter claimed I said. The real answer is that I would have preferred to either have open visitation during my childhood with the siblings and father left behind while being raised in my adoptive home, or, the better solution would have been to not coerce my grieving father into giving up his newborn daughter and separating his children. Relatives from my adoptive family and my deceased mother’s family still blame my father for that. I do not. I DO blame liars and cheaters who prevented me from developing and maintaining relationships with my own blood kin and nuclear family. THAT is nothing short of child abuse.

You do not see that in divorce, and if you do, the spouse who violates visitation rights is in serious legal trouble. Why, then, is it assumed that adoptive parents and entire adoptive extended family systems can get away with lying and preventing an innocent child from access with her own blood family? Is it because they believe it is the relinquishing parent’s “fault”? Is it because the public perceives that once a child is “freed” for adoption, then that child is somehow “better off” because the natural parents “didn’t want” the child so the adoptive parents are seen as saviors?

The entire social and legal system of adoption needs fixing. Better yet, it needs to stop.

While non-adoptees and non-parents-of-adoption-loss in  the general public flap around and argue about adoption policy in private (grey) market adoptions, and child-trafficking schemes (black market adoptions, and adoption agency (white market) adoptions, there is something that goes on underneath it all. We must stop the government seizure of birth certificates of vulnerable infants and children, stop the sealing of these documents, and stop the automatic issuance of ‘new’, ‘amended’, falsified Certificates of Live Birth to adoptees. This nationwide practice is also a global practice. These are crimes committed against infants and children who grow up to be adults still bound by laws that restrict their personal and legal freedoms.  Even adoptees who are blissfully happy in their adoptive homes, and have no interest in searching, or no interest in a reunion with their natural families, even these adoptees have been personally and legally violated by the practice of falsifying government documents by a Court Judge and the Registrar of Vital Statistics who carries out the court order to issue a falsified Certificate of Live Birth. I am not a lawyer, but I must say, this seems to be lying under oath, which is fraud and perjury, is it not?  

I have put my legal name of Joan Mary Wheeler, and my non-legal (but once was legal) name at birth of Doris Michol Sippel, to many Letters to the Editor and paid commentary newspaper articles since I was age 19 in 1975. I have always stood up for the truth. In the days of the Internet and screenames and usernames, I have posted many comments under these nicknames. Either way, I am not afraid of the government looking in on my now paid-for website, clicking on the Pages to see when my book will be published.

I have published snippets of my two Certificates of Live Birth on this website, but they are printed in full in my book. I am not afraid of identity theft. Financially, I am in ruin now. I am taking steps to legally protect myself in starting a small business, but I am in no way afraid to go public with the personal and governmental crimes committed against me.

If this is only a States’ issue, then why is the Federal Government spying on me? The Pentagon? Really? Why?

Rebuttle from Yesterday’s ABC Article

This post, too, will be quick. No time for editing. This is written in response to this article:

I agreed to be interviewed, but I DID NOT say I would have preferred to be in foster care!!! The foster care and guardianship topics came up in my interview when the reporter asked me, “You’re not anti adoption, are you?”

I said, “Yes, of course, I am!”

The reporter said, “Well, what would you like to see done differently?”

I said, “Preserving the natural family is the first step. If a child cannot be raised by her parents, then kinship care,, and after that option, then guardianship.” I DID NOT SAY THAT I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED TO BE RAISED IN FOSTER CARE!

That kind of twisting my words has resulted in, again, more misunderstanding abaout adoption.

Of course I enjoyed my childhood. I was raised by doting, loving parents who gave me everything a child could want: a secure home, tucks in bed at night, good meals, snuggles and cuddles as a young chid, a good education, family get-togethers with extended family at other homes and at parks, and emotional closeness. I loved my parents while I grew up and they loved me.

But that love was destroyed when I got that phone call from a sister I never knew. It was at that moment at age 18, and a high school senior, that I realized a rush of information and acceptance. The two most trusted people in the world to a child are her parents. And mine lied to me. Not only did they lie, but they willfully prevented me from knowing my siblings during the time when it is most crucial for a child to have siblings: childhood.

The reporter made me out to be some kind of uncaring nutcase. I resent that characterization.

Foster care would not have been my preferred choice to the childhood  that I did have. However, finding out at age 18 that I actually had full blood siblings, devastated me.

Here is what I wrote in the onnline comments to that article. I acnnot stay to read comments waitiing for psoting, or to answer email. I need to go back to  hospital for my dying adoptive mother. Mixed feelings? Yes. How would you feel if your parents lied to you and prevented you from growing up with your siblings?

My reprints from online comments:

Part 1

The responses to this story reflect the ignorance of adoption that still exist. It is appalling what people perceive adoption to be.

 I will be posting a series of posts (due to space limitations) to correct mistakes in the bad reporting and mischaracterization of my adoption and reunion. First, it is not the reunion that went bad, it was my entire adoption that was wrong. Reunion, itself, is not a bad thing, and in miss-representing what I said to the reporter gives the wrong impression. Reunions are a good thing, if handled appropriately. Adoptions can be a good experience, if handled appropriately.

 I was an 18 year old high school senior, raised a socially isolated only child by parents who chose to keep secrets from me. They knew I had siblings within 5 miles of our home, and they chose to prevent me from access to them. Meanwhile, members of my adoptive father’s family and members of my deceased natural mother’s family socialized with each other, passing around rumors about my natural father and secret stories of me growing up. I was unaware of this and so was my father. This was social engineering and certainly not the proper way to handle a “relative adoption”. I was treated as an outcast by most of my adoptive family after my reunion – good enough to be in the family while my adoption is secret, but toss me out after I reunite with my father and finally grieve the death of my mother. I did not create resentment – adoption myths and taboos did.

 Part 2

When my older full blood siblings found me, it was a shock. Of course it would be: to learn that the most trusted people to a child lied, on purpose, and treated me as a possession. My siblings and I and our father had as good a reunion as could be, considering I was at everyone’s mercy for they told me their versions of the truth and assumed that I should get on with life quickly.

That does not happen. The shock of being found, the shock of lies, and the growing turmoil of both families putting me down because I chose to become an adoption reform activist, resulted in life-long psychological trauma. Do not twist my words around to make it seem that I had a “Bad Reunion.” THAT is mischaracterization of what I told this reporter.

It is the total accumulation of misinformed relatives, societal myths, and definite discrimination against adoptees in general that made my life difficult. How can one person defend herself against an adoptive family network of rumors and disgust, a split natural family (one side believing that my father was responsible for my mother’s death from cancer, and my father not knowing the full extent of the involvement of other people in the adoption of his child. There was total lack of concern for him as my relinquishing father, total lack of concern for the five children at the death of our mother.

  Part 3

The only thing that mattered was that I, the adoptee, had a so-called better life to be away from wretchedness of the father and siblings left behind. I paid for the “sin” of accepting my father back into my life by having hate mail sent to me and hate phone calls from anonymous adoptive relatives who took it out on me that I even dared to have a reunion with a man they hated. THAT is what was wrong in my adoption and reunion—distortion of beliefs surrounding adoption. I DID NOT say to this reporter that I wished I was raised in foster care or was under guardianship. THAT is a twist of what I actually said.   

If my adoptive parents were truthful to me while I was growing up, if the judge had realized that there were four other children involved and made it a part of this adoption to have ongoing sibling and father visitation, and if there were no hateful rumors spread for 53 years, then there would have been a cooperation in visitation for the sibling group, I would have known that my mother died and where she was buried. Better yet, my family should never have been separated by adoption in the first place. Family preservation should have prevailed, but no, adoption was seen as the only solution.

 Part 4

I said that, adoption as a social practice should be replaced by family preservation. IF a child cannot be raised by her family, then guardianship should replace adoption because adoption creates a new identity for the child and destroys the natural family connections. Adoption itself causes distortions in peoples’ attitudes.

This reporter misrepresented what I told her. And she chose to ignore the very real birth certificates I sent her. All adoptees’ birth certificates are seized by the government and a new, falsified, birth certificate is issued claiming the parents of adoption actually gave birth. The reporter was shocked when I told her this, “They don’t still do that, do they?” she asked me. “Yes, they do!” I responded. I sent her copies of all of my fraudulent birth and baptismal certificates, and true birth certificates. But she chose to ignore my message.

This is why I have written a book — because reporters are too casual with information given to them. I have told my story to numerous reporters since 1975, and it is always the same. They report a twisted version of what I actually said.

  Part 5

This adoptee has faced a variety of discriminations:  1st in my relinquishment that could have been prevented, then my adoption that was full of lies from the very beginning, and the lies told behind me as I was growing in a social circle similar to The Truman Show. Do not place the burden on a “bad reunion” upon me. Remember this: an 18 year old faced with psychological shock of this magnitude does not emotionally heal well, nor do the adoptive parents who lied for 18 years and defended their right to lie by screaming and yelling and blaming the adoptee, nor do the siblings of that adoptee, and, the relinquishing father who was talked into giving up his newborn at the funeral of his dead wife.

Adoption itself is wrong. Morally, ethically, humanly, wrong. Adoption is a no-win situation.

This reporter was more interested in getting a decent photo to put my face in her story to prove the bad side of reunions, without printing the evidence I gave her to expose the worst discrimination of all: sealed and falsified birth certificates that all adoptees suffer. Creating new and fraudulent birth certificates for each adoptee, and forcing us to beg for our truthful birth certificates, is the biggest discrimination in adoption today.

Joan Mary Wheeler, born as, Doris Michol Sippel

November 23, 2009

From this Morning’s Email – NCFA

This post will be written on the fly. I’ve been in the hospital with my dying mother till 2:30 AM, came home, slept for a few hours, and just got a call to go back for her transport.

So many of my adoptee/mothers of adoption loss friends wrote about yesterday’s ABC article, thank you! I’ll get back with you all later today.

But this had to be posted. Now I know why I’ve been seeing mysterious IP addresses from Alexandria, Virginia, that’s because the National Council For Adoption had been reading my website!!! Welcome, NCFA! Maybe you guys can learn something by reading what adoption has done to me. While you are at it, stop by the Links Section to view some more adoptee/motehrs of adoption loss blogs. There are some great blogs by donor-conceived women and men, too. Oh,, yes, Adopted Jane, I will add your blog, too! I am so sorry to have left you out. I may have left others out of my lists,, too, as the frantic effort to keep blogs and websites up has been difficult. (My former blogs were shut down by people who want me to be quiet).

So, enjoy this lovely little nugget of wisdom from the NCFA. I joined thier email list about a year ago. Glad they continue to send me their enlightening emails, such as this:

Celebrate National Adoption Month Part 4Tuesday, November 24, 2009 10:15 AM


“National Council For Adoption” <>

Donate today to help keep adoption strong!
You can contact NCFA by mail, phone, fax, and e-mail:National Council For Adoption

225 N. Washington Street Alexandria, VA 22314

703-299-6633 (Phone)

703-299-6004 (fax)
To unsubscribe/change profile: click here.
To subscribe: click here.

 Oh Darn! The photo of the little girl on a slide did not come through, must be copyrighted. So this is what was writen for that photo’s caption:

“To those who help build families through adoption, we say … “Thank You.” Because every child deserves a loving, permanent family.” “Donate today to help keep adoption strong!”

Where were the donations of emergency financial help to feep my family together when our mother died and our father was told by a Catholic priest, “The baby needs two parents,” and a kind Christian woman came up to my father at his dead wife’s funeral and said, “I know a husband and wife will who take your baby”?

Yes, donate today to keep the attorneys and adoption agencies filled with money that could otherwise be used to keep struggling families — which include a single motehr and her pregnancy — together.

Family values indeed.

Re-Post of Last Year’s Commemoration: Commentary on article “Anti-Adoption Advocates: How Should We Respond?”

This is a re-posting of a post from my former blog.

November 14, 2008

November is National Adoption Awareness month.

To commemorate this month-long awareness campaign, I wrote the following in response to the article by Heidi Hess Saxton, “Anti-Adoption Advocates: How Should We Respond?” Her article appears in an online publication called The Catholic Exchange: Seventeen comments by her followers and adoption reformers are included at that site.


Dear Heidi Hess Saxton:

Where are you getting your information? Are you making this up? Do you have personal or professional experience to speak with authority, or are you basing your article on value judgments? Please, learn about adoption before you preach.

Pardon me, I see that you have adopted two children in 2002. That gives you a wealth of experience to draw upon. Honey, your journey is just beginning. Live life a little before you judge others. Remember the Golden Rule. You’ve got a lot to learn.

I am 52 years old. I am not “an adult adopted child”. I am an adoptee. Don’t patronize me as an “adult adoptee” either. Do you hear anyone else in society preface the description of others or themselves as “adult social worker” or “adult doctor” or “adult teacher”? No, of course not. I am a woman who was adopted as an infant. But because of backward thinking, I am called every name and label people want to assign to me. I am a normal person.

I was orphaned by the death of my mother — that’s MOTHER, not “birth” or “first” mother, but MOTHER, as in mother, the one who conceived and gave birth to me, who would have raised me had she not died. But because I was adopted as an infant, the definition of mother gets split. The legal term is “natural mother” and “natural father”. Says so in my adoption papers. Go look it up in any law library.

How dare you ridicule all adoptees and our parents! We are not “the enemy”. If we are your enemies, why do you want to adopt “the enemy”?

When I was 18 years old, and an “only child” in my adoptive home, I was found by a sister I never knew. That was in 1974 — nearly 35 years ago. I speak from personal experience as well as professional. I have been advocating for adoptees’ rights since I was 19. I earned my 2nd Bachelor’s in Social Work 9 years ago.

My loving adoptive parents did not ever want me to know the truth: they lied to me for the first 18 years of my life. It was their responsibility to tell the truth, but they wanted me all to themselves. It was the lie, and their fierce determination to keep me from the truth that made me turn anti-adoption. At the moment I received that phone call, I realized that the love and trust I had with the parents who raised me was gone. They held information about me to themselves, selfishly. There was nothing altruistic, saintly, or even remotely “Christian” about those first 18 years of my life. I also knew that I had to make a decision. I was 18 years old, not out of high school yet, facing a life-trauma that took my life as I knew it, and destroyed it. My parents lied, betrayed me, yet, here on the phone was a woman who said she was my sister. I decided, without having influence from any media or professional (because none existed in 1974) that I have two sets of real parents. Both sets of parents made me who I am. I have never deviated from that logical reality.

Mom was married to Dad for 10 years. They had four older children. Mom’s death made the 5 of us half-orphans. A Catholic Priest told Dad that the baby needs two parents. There was no caring help for the family to stay together, no Christian love, no bags of clothes, no money to help pay for a funeral or burial plot, no financial aid to help pay rent, no caring nuns or priests or missionaries to help with child care. There was no one to come over to help these children cope with the loss of their mother and their newborn sister. No one helped my father in any way. Except the advice from a Catholic Priest to give up the baby to adoption. The reality is that my family suffered tremendous loss. I hear no compassion from so-called Christians.

I do hear the venom with which you address pregnant teens and their babies. In your arguments, you believe that all adoptees come from horrible pregnant mothers who lead such horrible, destructive lives. Where is your compassion for these mothers? Do you know what its like to have your baby torn from you after you gave birth? It is a horrible experience! I have not lived that myself, but I have known mothers-of-adoption-loss for over three decades. I empathize with them, as a woman, and as a mother myself.

I was born in January 1956. I was issued a birth certificate. I was baptized, twice. Once at birth by a nurse because I was near death. After I recovered, I was baptized in a real religious Catholic ceremony at my dying mother’s bedside, one week before she died in March 1956. At my mother’s funeral, people were buzzing about the baby. Who will take care of her? In April, following the advice of a Catholic priest, my father relinquished me to the care of a couple who were to become my adoptive parents. My adoption became finalized one year and one week after by birth. These pre-adoptive parents called me Joan, but my legal and religious name was Doris.

Do you know that an infant hears inside the mother’s uterus? It’s true. I heard my siblings playing, talking to me before I was born. I heard my mother’s voice. I heard my father’s voice. I felt a shocking, empty void, after my premature birth as I lay in an incubator for 6 weeks. I suffered the trauma of losing my mother because of my isolation in that incubator. I was too young to know what happened, but my tiny body knew something was wrong. I did not hear the familiar voices of my siblings, nor my father, nor my mother. I was alone for a very long time.

Then, I heard my new name of Joan. My pre-adoptive parents called me Joan for 10 months before my adoption was finalized.

The seeds for life-long psychological trauma were set for me pre-birth. The damage was compounded by adoption separation.

It is my opinion that you need to study the dynamics of pregnancy and birth, and separation trauma experienced by all adoptees.

My father was not given any paper to sign that guaranteed him to any privacy or confidentiality. Nor was he verbally promised confidentiality. He was not hiding in fear that I’d track him down. No, he never wanted to give me up in the first place. The judge told him that he could look for me when I turned 18. Yes, that’s right. Even my adoption papers say that after 18 years, my father could contact me. When I reach the age of majority, I would become an autonomous being, free from the legal binds of adoptive parental control over me. My father loved me. He anticipated my birth. I was his youngest child.

I lived 5 miles away from my natural family. My Catholic adoptive family, with all the extended family, knew the truth. They even knew my natural mother’s extended family. Photos were traded back and forth. Stories of “Joanie’s phases” were traded from adoptive relatives to natural blood kin. I, and my siblings, and our father, were kept out of this spy ring. While my father thought he relinquished me to a private, legal transaction between he and my new parents, he did not know that there would be contact between his deceased wife’s family and my adoptive family. He was purposely kept out of the communication. He was told to stay away, to not interfere, and he did not interfere. All of the other relatives interfered.

In divorce, and re-marriage of parents, there is no sealed birth certificate. The child is shared by two parents and their respective new spouses. Blended families are made adding half siblings, enriching lives by diversity and continuity. But in adoption, a hard break is made. For no clear reason. No one owns their children. We are innocent children whose lives are manipulated and mangled by others who are supposed to looking out for our well-being. Children are victims of sealed, closed adoption. Adoption in America is a severe trauma to children. Adoption in America also is a trauma to adoptees later in life as we are forbidden, by law forever, to know from whence we came.

Three years after my birth and baptism, my adoptive parents asked the Catholic Church to issue a baptismal certificate in my adoptive name so that I may go to Catholic Schools. That’s right. The Catholic Church lied! A priest took the date out of the Church book in which my baptism was recorded. He wrote in my new adoptive name, and the names of my adoptive parents, but, because the godparents were ever-important, he named them on my new, amended, fake and phony and fraudulent baptismal certificate! My godparents were related to my deceased mother! OH NO! The identities of my real, factual, godparents were named on the fraudulent baptismal certificate! Joan Wheeler was not baptized. Doris Sippel was baptized.

For the Catholics out there, no, for the non-Catholics who do not know, listen up. When a Catholic child grows up and partakes of religious rites of passage, it is with the name at baptism—the name that God recognizes—that a child receives Holy Communion, receives Confirmation, takes vows as a nun or a priest, or takes vows in matrimony.

Do you understand what I just wrote? How many violations to my personhood is the Catholic Church going to inflict upon me? And other adoptees?

My birth certificate (notice I said “birth certificate” and not “original birth certificate”) was sealed and a new, fake, phony, fraudulent birth certificate was issued in its place. The parents named on this “birth certificate” did not make love to create me. The mother named on this “birth certificate” did not give birth to me. Yet, the document clearly states that this mother gave birth to me on my birth date, at the hospital in which I was actually and factually born, and that I was a single birth, and the time of my birth was indicated. This document is not my birth certificate at all! It is a government-perpetrated fraud!

My adoptive mother and father were infertile. Does it not strike anyone out there that pretending to give birth is a psychological denial of facts? When the Registrar of Vital Statistics issues a fake birth certificate, adopting parents believe the lies. They can live in their happy dream world because the law created falsified birth certificates: adopting parents are following the law, so they believe a falsehood.

To be absolutely true, an adoption certificate should be issued upon the legal finalization of adoption. An adoption certificate would state the facts of the adoption. The birth certificate states the facts of birth. Both documents should remain open to the person named on it: the person born and the person adopted.

Any minor child who is not adopted has the legal right to ask for a copy of her birth certificate. It is the obligation of the parents to show the document to the child and to give the document to the child at the age of majority. Up until the age of majority, the parents are legally responsible for minor children; a child cannot apply for school attendance, parents do that. In a healthy parent-child relationship, the child is told the facts of birth.

Americans think that adoption means the legal possession of a child. In the Netherlands, a progressive society, adoptive parents know their place. They are respectful of the adoptee’s natural parents; they have the legal responsibility to tell the child the truth. The minor child has the legal right to ask for the birth certificate and adoption certificate. The adoptive parents are issued an adoption certificate for the minor child. Dutch adoptive parents know that they are not the only parents. There are no sealed nor amended records in Holland. Openness gives freedom of communication in a loving, respectful adoptive home.

Just so you understand, as a social worker, I’ve worked with homeless people. I’ve worked with many women who have had abortions, and they were all in financial straights, unable afford a child. Many women were married and had other children. Some women are too old to carry a pregnancy that would result in maternal harm, and the fetus has defects because of the age of the egg at fertilization. Some women are taking medicines for existing health issues of their own and an unplanned pregnancy happens. Prescriptions often interfere with the developing baby, rendering the baby a deformed mass of fused or missing bones with no brain or missing internal organs. Some women were beat up by their boyfriends or fathers and had no other option. Only a pregnant woman and her doctor can make an informed decision about what to do with an unplanned (not unwanted) pregnancy. Many women chose abortion rather than adoption because they could not see going through a pregnancy to lose a baby to an uncertain future with strangers; punishment upon punishment. The finality of death was a better choice than to send their baby to strangers and know that they would never see that baby again. A person can grieve a death, but the agony of losing a child to adoption is a loss women never recovery from. Closed adoption and closed records are very damaging. Open adoption is not enforceable; the records are still sealed and falsified.

Why is it that Catholics preach love, but treat adoptees as villains? Why do you see us as the enemy? If we are your enemy, then please, don’t adopt! Stay away! We don’t want adoptive parents such as you! You treat our natural parents and our siblings as villains also. We come from these people so don’t make them out to be evil! If they are evil, then so are we! And if we are evil, we should not be adopted! You wouldn’t want us if we that bad! And then, to top it off, you demand that adoptees should be forever banned from the truth of our births? How cruel! You do not speak of loving kindness, decency or respect or honor. You are spewing hate and prejudice with every word written by Heidi Hess Saxton!

And yes, the rights of the adoptee trump the rights of either set of parents. Why? Because an adoptee was a minor child when the adoption took place. No other autonomous adult must ask permission of any parent to do anything. No adult should be held as prisoner by either adoptive parents or natural parents. You do not play god over adoptees! According to you, you think you have the right to own adoptees. That’s slavery. Discrimination—Violation of our civil and human rights! The United Nations in UNICEF has a global mandate: to register the BIRTH of all children in the world.

When my adoptive father died of brain cancer in 1982—8 years after my reunion began—my adoptive cousin got out of her car and came up to me as I was preparing to see my father in the casket at the funeral home. She said, “You OPENLY declare that you have another father, so that means you do not love this dead father. You do not belong here.” This cousin, whom I played with as a child, treated me with such hateful disdain! She certainly is not a good, Christian woman!

Notice that she said OPENLY as loud and as disgusted as she could! Why, she made it seem as though I was OPENLY having sex with the funeral director!

Here is another lovely Catholic bit for you: Bastards are forbidden into heaven! Yes, it’s true! It’s even in the bible! We all know, if it’s in the Bible, it must be true! Deuteronomy 23:2—“No bastard shall enter the assembly of the Lord; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord.”

How’s that for loving kindness?! Now, think about what it is you want! You want unwed mothers to give up their illegitimate bastard kids so they can be free from the stain of the curse of their birth, yet, the Bible says bastards won’t get to heaven. You want these bastards to grow up ever grateful for the blessings of being cared for by people who feel that the very people who conceived and gave birth to us, are evil in some way. You want to prevent us from contact with our own blood kin! Is this family values? Is this done in love? I don’t think so.

How many of you have the hobby of genealogy? Feel Proud? Well, don’t prevent adoptees from tracing their family trees for the sheer joy and curiosity of it. You enjoy it, so can adoptees. Butt out of our lives. When we are adults, we are not subject to the constraints of parents. We ought to have ongoing visitation with our blood kin during childhood and into adulthood. That’s what happens in divorce, so why treat adoptees and our blood kin any differently?

Is Sarah Palin’s 17 year old daughter pregnant? Yes! Why isn’t anyone coercing this pregnant teen to give up her baby to adoption? Isn’t there a needy couple out there who would benefit from being blessed with the ‘gift of life’, the ‘bad seed’, the ‘illegitimate bastard’ from such a prestigious, ‘good quality family stock’? The child’s birth certificate will be amended, the original birth certificate will be sealed, and no one else would ever know! Oh, and, best of all, that baby will never know that his grandmother was a Vice Presidential candidate as the Governor of Alaska! Why would the adopted bastard child want to know that anyway? He’s now adopted and has a whole new set of parents and extended family and family history! Adoption wipes away his need to know anything about his blood kin!

Did you know that John Lennon lost his older sister to adoption? How would YOU feel if you were adopted and found out now, in 2008, that your younger brother was John Lennon? He was shot to death 28 years ago, but, hey, you are adopted and you don’t need to know anything about your blood kin!

I am proudly anti-adoption. I am proudly anti-Catholic, too. I openly declare that I have two real sets of parents — that is the bare truth of all adoption.

The next debate will be “embryo adoptions”! There is no legal adoption; embryo adoptions are actually swapped. Because the recipient mother of a frozen embryo gives birth, she is named on the birth certificate, but she is not the only mother. Nor is her husband the only father. How many Catholics out there donate their sperm? Eggs? How many Catholics depend on the prostituted services of sperm and egg donors to make their children? What lies are you telling your children?

For GOD’s sake, people! Get an education! No, sorry, correction: for ADOPTEES’ sake, and our natural parents’ sake, GET AN EDUCATION!

Ignorance is at the root of all prejudice.

Joan Wheeler, BSW
born and baptized as Doris Sippel

This is the article to which the above responds to —

“Anti-Adoption Advocates: How Should We Respond?”
by Heidi Hess Saxton, printed online in The Catholic Exchange:

November 11th, 2008

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Comments From Last Year:

Submitted on 2008/12/05 at 7:12pm by Lisa Kay, Fla

I stumbled onto your blog via a link on the 73adoptee blog. Wow! You hit the nail on the head on so many points that I won’t even try to comment on the ones that ring especially true to my own opinions and experiences, or are otherwise noteworthy.I’m laughing as I ponder whether you should be an attorney, a media pundit, or a politician. Regardless, I’m glad that I’m on your side of the argument.Hope you won’t mind if I recommend your blog in a post on Adoption Database’s message board about blogs the members should check out. [If you don’t want me to, please contact me.]A new fan,Lisa KayFL Adoptee Searchingb. Jan 2x, 1963Gainesville, Florida

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2008/11/18 at 4:04pm  janet blue

Thank you for speaking the truth about adoption. I wonder if my adopted children will feel the same when they are allowed to come and find me. They are not allowed to write to me at the moment but I keep looking for them. Janet UK

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2008/11/16 at 8:45am  mommaL3

THANK YOU! Your article was painful at times to read ,but oh so refreshingly honest and if there is one thing this reunited Mother of adoption loss insists on is honesty no matter how painful .I had enough lies ,when in my youth ,I was made to believe I had nothing that my daughter needed and the love for my daughter was used against both of us. Ms.Hess is no different than the other profiteers that have their own agendas for separating infants from their Mothers .Again they are trying to use us to keep business as usual. BTW,I never was promised confidentiality nor did I ask for it. I didn’t need protection from my own child.The real question should be “what do they need protection from? I see they also are not above trying to use God to continue this evil industry.. If anything many churches should apologize for what they did to us instead of justifying their actions and trying to make the victims the ones at fault. But than that is what abusers do, isn’t it? My God ,have they no shame???That was a rhetorical question. Thanks again Joan and I am sorry for your losses caused by adoption. Linda Webber

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2008/11/15 at 10:55am  Sandy Young

Doris, Send a copy of your piece to her. I did. She needs to hear this stuff from various sources. She needs to know that mothers and their children are hurt by these unnecessary separations. If you haven’t yet read them, her comments on The Daily Bastardette, Adoption and its Triad, and my own,Musing-Mother are worth reading. Her head is clearly spinning on her shoulders about now, and her veneer is slipping! Thank you for your very impassioned and lucid comments. I hope she gets a chance to read them.

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2008/11/14 at 9:20pm  jimm

Excellent post. Like Pennegal, I doubt they will print your comment; they wouldn’t print mine. Truth and the Catholic Church don’t go hand-in-hand.

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2008/11/14 at 7:42pm  triona

Joan, thank you for speaking out against this load of drivel. I bet they won’t post it, either, but at least by posting it on your own blog you will be heard.

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2008/11/14 at 7:34pm  Web2.0PRDude

You might want to cross-reference this article with the reference material by John Syrtash, a Toronto based Family and Divorce Lawyer

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2008/11/14 at 6:41pm  Pennagal

Excellent commentary, Joan. I seriously doubt they will allow this to appear on the website because it countradicts the rosy picture they have of adoption as the cure for all ill. But it needed to be said and, I hope, that Ms. Saxton will read it.

Adoption BEwareness Month – True and False Birth Certificates

Trying to learn FTP file transfer to build this flash gallery… in the meantime, these photos came with the slide-show setup. My own birth records will be added soon.

[flash_easy_gallery 1 /]


The woman I was named after died a few days ago. This is for Aunt Doris.

Adoption not only took me away from the family I was born into, but adoption took away the name I was given at birth. I had that full name for one year and one week, until the Judge ordered my name to be changed. It took the State a few months to issue my new (false) birth certificate in my adoptive name.

Adoption also took away the name I was given in the Catholic Sacrament of Baptism. According to Catholic dogma, a person must use their baptismal name to take vows: to become a nun or a priest, get married, and receive other holy sacraments. I was deprived of my baptismal name because the Church issued a false baptismal certificate in my adoptive name three years after the real baptismal ceremony. Catholic Baptism is not simply a symbolic gesture. Catholics believe that the child receiving the sacrament of Baptism is blessed by God. If that is true, then the Catholic Church should not have falsified a new Baptismal Certificate in my adoptive name. That document gives the impression that I was baptized in that name, which I was not.

An adopted child is not born twice, nor is that child baptized twice. Yet I have several birth certificates and two baptismal certificates. 

New York State sealed my birth records upon the finalization of my adoption. To this very day, nearly 54 years after my birth, I am barred from legally obtaining my true birth certificate. My case fell through the cracks. I have my sealed records (as evidenced in the cropped slides above and full scanned images in my forthcoming book). But I cannot obtain certified copies at the local Office of Vital Statistics because the law won’t allow it — even if I present what I have! That is totally illogical. Changing my identity without my consent, and without giving me my own attorney to act in my behalf at the time I could not speak for myself as an infant, is a crime that goes unpunished for millions of adoptees worldwide.

Just who do you people think you are anyway? What gives you the right to snatch infants from their families, change their names and prevent them from ever knowing the truth? Adoption is a disgusting, life-sucking institution that mimics real families. No one can truly love in a lie. Once the adoptive parents lie, their friends and extended family lie, building lie upon lie, fabrication upon stretched truth, day after day, decade after decade. Lie becomes believed truth. While relatives do their dance around the wicked adoptee, the unsuspecting adoptee is condemned, mocked, ridiculed, and scorned.

Couples get divorced for infidelity, with or without photographic proof. Parental infidelity in adoption, however, is rewarded by false and fraudulent birth certificates proving that the child is “theirs”, and all the rest of the glorified accolades of how wonderful these adoptive parents are to take in an unwanted child. How wonderful indeed, to be that unwanted child, to sense others’ pity and scorn. I, the adoptee, must live with the consequences of all those lies for the duration of my lifetime. This has had a devestating trickle-down effect on my children’s quality of life. That’s another topic for discussion…

Thank GOD I gave up being a Catholic for Lent somewhere around age 14! And I never looked back longingly for a religion built on lies, deceit, damaging secrets, hypocracy and fraudulent religious documents. The Pope has not bothered to answer my second letter to the Vatican. My first letter was answered with a form letter. Evidently someone in The Vatican took my second letter seriously because there was no form letter this time. No response was sent because there is no official Church acknowledgement of this crime of issuing my falsified baptismal certificate signed by a Catholic priest.

Some Commandment says “Thou shall not bear false witness”.

Another Commandment says, “Thou shall not steal”. We’ve not really delved into that one much, but I heard the author A J Jacobs (The Year of Living Biblically) say that that commandment actually means “thou shalt not steal other people’s children”. I wish I could find a link to that quote. I heard him say that recently on C-Span’s Book TV. So, children, here’s your Bible task for this week: Go find that quote. Better yet, study The Golden Rule: Do not do to others what you would not want done to you.

No, adoption is not a wonderful thing, event or condition. Adoption is a cover-up, a con-job, and a mockery of the sanctity of life.

Go ahead, you defenders of the status quo, keep shoving your shock and dismay at me. What about orphans who have no parents? What about the kids LANGUISHING in orphanages? and bla bla bla.

Even full orphans were conceived and born of one mother and one father. Those are the birds and the bees — the facts of life. Guardianship of true full orphans provides loving homes for children who desperately need homes. Guardianship does not destroy the identity of that child, nor does guardianship destroy family relationships. Guardianship gives a true perspective. Caring guardians can model parental roles while accepting that they did not give birth to that child. Guardians can give respect to the missing parents by acknowledging their names, their race, ethnicity, national origin, family religion, and, most important of all, guardians can respect the child for who she is. Adoption, by its very nature, is secretive, manipulative, and disrespectful to the true parents and the adoptee.

Working toward total honesty in adoption means to first acknowledge the act of adoption by issuing a certified Certificate of Adoption for every adoption of the past as a Vital Statistic of Adoption to be registered in the Office of Vital Statistics of where the adoption took place.

Secondly, from this day forward, make adoption itself illegal. Family Preservation, Kinship Care and Guardianship are the only acceptable alternatives to closed and sealed adoption.