How you treat adult adoptees on-line today may be how your child is treated tomorrow…

When I read this, I thought that this was written today, but no. The original post was made in 2012. This is still happening today. Adoptee voices are silenced, ridiculed, mocked. Adopted people are still labeled as “having a bad experience.” Adoptive “parents” and any non-adopted person, and any person who has not surrendered a child to adoption, really has no clue how adoption has ruined so many lives.

The adopted ones blog

Have you ever considered that?  That thought runs through my mind each and every time I see an adult adoptee called names and treated badly on any forum, facebook page, or blog.  Even those adult adoptees who are using all the required disclaimers and couching all statements with a “I feel” or “some” or “may or may not feel” or “it could make them”…

I started this post after reading a very disappointing exchange on a forum.  I first wrote here “Deep breath required because I am angry right now…counting to ten and beyond”.  For once, I followed my advice and waited a few days, and yet I still wish to offer some thoughts, or perhaps understanding, on how normal it is to want to make things better. 

The topic that got me angry: “it isn’t because you are adopted”

Followed by that being adopted and adoption does not cause any issues or challenges. …

View original post 734 more words

The First Two Christmases of My Life

Today, two days after Christmas 60 years ago, my pregnant mother was taken by bus (my parents did not own a car) to the hospital. She was so sick that she was admitted. Tests were done and, though the doctors knew she was pregnant, they x-rayed her abdomen (so I received a full body dose of x-ray radiation). There, next to me, was a massive tumor. Mom gave birth to me on January 7, 1956, two months prematurely. Mom died on March 28, 1956.

.
The following year, just a few weeks before Christmas 1956 and just before my adoption became final, the husband and wife who had custody of me since that April (and who would become my adoptive “parents”) felt sorry for my father and for my four older siblings. “We bought a Christmas tree and presents and drove them over to your father’s house when the kids were asleep, so they would not see us. We wanted them to have a Christmas,” my 89 year old adoptive mother said to me in 2005.

.
When I heard this story for the first time in my life, I was seething with rage. While my adoptive “parents” thought they were being kind by giving these charity gifts to a family who was “less fortunate,” what they actually did was give gifts to ease the pain of taking away the baby to keep for their very own.

.
Yes, my father relinquished me to adoption, but no one ever offered him help. No one ever thought that the baby might miss her family, or that the siblings might miss their baby sister. Just give the baby a new home and new name and be done with it. What counted most was to provide me with two parents, a new home, and a new life. And to provide a child for a childless married couple who desperately wanted a baby.

.

I lived a sheltered life as an only child.

.

To say that I felt betrayed when the truth was revealed, is an understatement.

Joan Mary Wheeler

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00X520CGW?ie=UTF8&tag=forbifamil01-20

 

Bless My Homeland Forever

This song,  Edelweiss, has many meanings for me. First, it is a bittersweet memory from my childhood. My adoptive parents frequently took me to local theater performances of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical plays. This song is from The Sound of Music. As a child, yes, this song made me sad.

But now, decades later, I am struck with sentimental feelings of longing to go back into time, a time when I loved my parents with the innocence of the child I was, long before I knew the level of betrayal that my adoptive parents – and most of my adoptive family – inflicted upon me. They knew the truth of my origins and willfully kept it all a secret.

I am also feeling nostalgic for the Homeland (one of many) of my German-Swiss ancestors, places I have never seen, and may never get the chance to see. I am homesick to know where my blood feels at home.

And finally, I want to send this song out to my many adopted friends who were taken from their homelands and brought here to America. I have grown up: Edelweiss now is a symbol of oppression of adopted people.

‪#‎NationalAdoptionMonth2015‬ ‪#‎NationalAbductionMonth2015‬ ‪#‎FlipTheScript‬ ‪#‎Adoption‬

Every Disgusting, Self-Centered AP Cliche Ever

I’ll add one more to #2) “Relinquishing mothers (like all women in our society) are either virgins or sluts.” Why is it that adopters never consider that the mother of a relinquished baby may actually have died? My mother was not a slut, nor was she a virgin. She was a married mother of four older children when she gave birth to me. My mother died of cancer and my grieving father relinquished me. Yet, all I hear is “birth” mother-shaming. As a real half-orphan, I find the slut-shaming to be disgusting. This blog post gives us a good look into the minds of adopters today.

Adopto-Snark

can be found in this article, which the snurchin will entitle Adoption Fills Gaping Hole in Already-Reasonably-Complete Fort Collins Family Ye Gods How They Must Have Suffered! It’s an oldie (June 2015) about a couple who adopted the man’s cousin’s baby.

Cliche 1) APs are selfless, which is why the cost of their charity is your child. Mary and Kevin only wanted to help a woman in need: The couple began talking about how they could help Lexa — a two-time leukemia survivor with dreams of becoming a nurse — raise a child and still attend college in the fall. I swear to you I am not making this up.

2) Relinquishing mothers (like all women in our society) are either virgins or sluts. In this case, the mother is innocent rather than sinful because she is  related to Kevin, the much-smarter adoptive father): “She was a great kid…

View original post 724 more words

My Second Article Published by Dissident Voice

My second article has been published by Dissident Voice:

http://dissidentvoice.org/2015/10/no-one-should-place-false-facts-on-birth-certificates/

No One Should Place False Facts on Birth Certificates

I urge everyone to read this to understand how important honesty is to adopted people, and to donor-conceived people.