Poll Started by Mara – Should Kids Given Up for Adoption Have Their Rights Defended in Court?

WOW! Best Birthday Present EVER! Thanks, Mara!

First, take the poll:

Should Kids Given Up For Adoption Have Their Rights Defended in Court? (CASA)

Then, leave a comment.

I was the first to do so on my BIRTHDAY, thanks to Mara!

Here’s my answer: YES!!!

And my Comments, spelling mistakes and all:

If my rights had been defended in court by an independant attorney who was looking out for my true “best interest of the child”, my adoption might have been handled diffeerently. One solution to my pre-adoptive parents’ petition to adopt me could have been to totally negate their petition on the grounds that it would be illegal and immoral to remove an infant from an existing sibling group and change her name and her identity to conform to what the adoptive parents want for “their” adopted child. Another solution could have been was to modify the petition to adopt by restricting the pre-adoptive parents to Legal Guardians. That would have kept my legal and my birth name one and the same (thereby preserving my Birth Certificate), and at the same time, given my Guardians the joy of raising a child with the knowledge of and visitation with that child’s one remaining parent (mother died) and visitation with her older siblings. The third option — which is what actually happened — to sever the ties completely with the father and siblings of the adoptee and raise the child 100% as the “only child” of the adopting parents which completely cut off my ties to my natural father, wiped out my chance for a timely and appropriate grieving of my MOTHER’s death, and wiped out any relationship that could have developed with my full blood siblings. It is a crime what happened to me! NO CHILD SHOULD BE PERMENTENTLY SEPARATED BY ADOPTION. This is cruel and is child abuse!!!! I blame the adoptive parents and the adotpive family for lying, manipulating the system and lying to the relinquishing natural father who was vulnerable at age 31 because he was grieiving the loss of his 30 year old wife who was the mother of five children.

Oh, yes, another solution would have been to compelety restore my father AS my father, restore my siblings AS my siblings, negate 100% the Petition to Adopt by my pre-adotpive parents and provide emotional and financial support for this FAMILY to stay together.

Still another solution would have been to give me back to my father, but, since my pre-adoptive parents had taken care of me for 10 months prior to the Final Court Date securing my closed and sealed adoption, that would have been cruel to them. This last option would have validated those legal guardians’ rights to have contact with the child they had grown to love.

These situations happen all the time. Played out quite well in extended family within my adoptive family: my adoptive parents took care of a number of sinling groups who did not have a father (he ran off). But, my adoptive parents (years before I was born and adopted) had respect for the remaining parent, knew their own boundaries and limitations as Parent Figures, and loved the children anyway.

Love is best when it is honest and respectful. Closed and sealed adoption destroys family relationships for generations.

Children who are Relinquised for adoption and who are being Petioned to be be Adopted, SHOULD have legal cousel to prertect their best interests.

Had my legal rights been protected from the very beginning, I would have had a happier life.

Thank you for the opportunity to speak.

Joan M Wheeler of http://forbiddenfamily.com .


Now, all you good little adoptees, go raise some hell on this fabulous poll started by MARA!!!!

Letter From Brisbane Hospital (Aus) Sets Example

letter from Brisbane Hospital Aus 09-6 resized 09-10-18


As an adoptee who has long supported mothers of adoption loss (and fathers, too, since it was my father who relinquished me to adoption), I am in support of SilverDove’s post http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2009/06/royal-brisbane-apology.html that gives a brief background of the public apology from The Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital in Queensland, Australia for the inhumane treatment of mothers who lost their babies at birth to adoption. Readers’ comments at Silverdove’s post are very insightful. She includes links to other sites for Australian mothers of adoption loss — a must read for adoption awareness.

This letter of apology from an Australian hospital that took newborn infants away from their mothers at birth solely because the babies were illegitimate and their mothers labeled as unfit, sets a new, and hopefully, growing precedent of the acknowledgment of pain and suffering inflicted on teens and young women who have been, and are, victims of the vast, worldwide multi-billion dollar adoption industry.

Single women of any age do not deserve for others to take their newborns away from them at birth, or soon afterward. Their infants are also victims.

This letter is an example to the rest of the world. Respect mothers. Respect their newborn children. Stop adoption abuse. Find ways to support a single mother to keep her child because a pregnant woman and her baby are a family. Birth is how we all came to be. If you were taken from your mother, or you lost your baby at birth – you would not like it, either.

SUPPORT FAMILY PRESERVATION. End the widespread practice of the kidnapping of newborns from their mothers — now.

Here’s an activity for my readers: Copy and paste the letter at the end of this post and send it out:

(Ooopps — I have disabled the right click and copy mechanism. So, if you would like a copy of this letter, please email me and I will send you a copy of this letter from Brisbane Hospital: admin at forbiddenfamily dot com)

MOTHERS OF ADOPTION LOSS: Send a copy of this letter from Brisbane Hospital to all adoption agencies and maternity wards of hospitals all over America. With it, send your own letter explaining why you want an apology from the hospital and maternity “Home” that took your child.

ADOPTEES: Send a copy of this letter from Brisbane Hospital and write your own letter to the hospital you were born in (if you know the name of it) explaining that you do not appreciate being stolen from your mother at birth. That act prevented you from being loved and cared for by your mother, prevented you from the natural emotional closeness the two of you shared. The act of taking you away at birth prevented you from drinking nourishing milk from your mother’s breast; the act of suckling not only strengthens the symbiotic bond between a mother and her child, but it provides the baby with natural biological proteins and immune system building blocks needed for life outside the mother’s womb. Adoptees: the act of ripping you from your mother is an act of violence against both of you and your mother. The natural order of life itself was disrupted. Tell the hospital you resent what was done to you.

NON-ADOPTEES: Get on board. Stop the social myths that exist out there. Realize what you tell a frightened pregnant teen or older woman will affect her and her baby for life. Do not promote the unnatural separation of mother and newborn or older child, by saying something stupid like, “Oh, you are too young, give the baby to someone else, you’ll get over it.”

SOCIAL WORKERS: Stop separating mothers and their newborns. You are creating lifelong pain and suffering.

PREGNANT AND SCARED: Do not feel that you must give up your baby to a couple who wants your baby. YOU are your child’s mother. Keep your baby!