Deborah Jacobs of ACLU (NJ) Takes a Heated Stand in Comments: We need to fight back!

Where are adoptees’ civil liberties?

By Peter Franklin

August 30, 2010


From Comments section:


Prisicilla151 wrote:

I’ll answer that. To adoptee and birthparents who want records open it is only about them. Birthparents who followed the rules and did it right don’t matter. And adoptees who wish to stay anonymous are traitors.
Here is what I believe. Adoptees are adoptees are adoptees. They got a life and most likely a better life then what their birthparent could give them at that time. The adoptive parent and birthparent chose a closed adoption in their best interest. As an adult we don’t agree with every choice our parents made but we have to live with it.
Birthparents with regrets. To bad once the birth certificate was sealed it was done. It was your job to decide what was right for you, choose an open adoption if you want contact.
While I sympathize with their needs. Find a way without stepping on the birthmothers who followed the rules made an educated choice knowing the consequences. Keep working for birthmoms who want to remain anonymous, thank you Deborah Jacobs and ACLU.

 Prisicilla151 wrote:

Dead parents deserve to rest in peace. If the law was that birth certificate should remain sealed when she died they should remained sealed.

Find a way to bring adotee and birthparents together without hurtiing the birthparent who followed and is willing to follow the rule as it was written. Why do the 95 % need to be punished.. you made the wrong choice there are many things that are not a do over when you change your mind. I don’t want to undermine or deminish the feelings of birthmom or adoptee who feel the need for a birth certificate but why is it the birthmom who wants to remain anonymous who followed the rules that need to be punished. That is why ACLU is looking out for the rights of birthmoms. They are willing to compromise in a fair way. Adoptees and birthmom’s who now changed her mom don’t want that they just want it all.
9/2/2010 3:21:36 PM

4 thoughts on “Deborah Jacobs of ACLU (NJ) Takes a Heated Stand in Comments: We need to fight back!

  1. Brian

    Hopefully, with the incidence of children having children these days, attitudes will change. Perhaps there is a stigma attached to adoptees. I’ve known several adoptees, as well as a number of adoptive parents, and I have never ONCE assumed that the adoptee was illigitmate. In the event the adoptee is, in fact, a bastard, (Lord how I HATE that word!), it was not of the adoptees chosing, any more than the adoption was. The adoptee had as much control over that as he/she had over whether they were male or female, Black, Native American, White, Asian, or any of the other uncontrolable results of the crap-shoot which brings a person into the world. These people KNOW they’re Black or White. They KNOW if they’re male or female. They Know they have blond hair, or brown eyes, or that birth mark on their hand. It’s only fitting and proper that they be allowed to know WHO THEY REALLY ARE!

    1. Attitudes change only within the subculture of unamrried couples having children together when they stay together, then the children are not thought of as illegitimate. There might be laws governing common-law marriages and inheritances. However, when it is adoptioon we are addressing, the laws as they were written on adoptees birth certificates, were meant to “legitimize” the illegitimate by being adopted by two married people. These laws are still on the books and that is hard to change, hence, that is why adoptees have been fighting these laws and social stigmas since 1955 when the movement began. I thank you for your non-judgmental attitude. If more people thought like you, it would be a better world!

  2. Brian

    In all the discussions I’ve read so far, the one thing nobody has mentioned are the ramifications of the medical histories of the birth mother or parents. These could affect the adopted child if there is a genetic disposition to a certain condition. Wouldn’t the adopted child want to know if he or she had a greater chance of contracting diabetis, cancer, or some other condition? How can an adoptee ever be sure their medical record can be accurate if they don’t have this information available? And how can a truely accurate family history be obtained without knowing about the medical family history of both the natural AND adoptive family? I’m no expert in any aspect of adoption, but I have a brother who has an adopted child, and one of my friends in college was adopted. In both cases, the adoptees knew both of their families. In both cases as well, the adoptees regard both families as theirs. And these days, does anyone think that being illegitimate is such a big deal? REALLY?! Also, being born out of wedlock is not the only reason children are given up for adoption.
    Obviously, the current laws have caused a great deal of grief for people on all sides of this issue. Isn’t it time the laws caught up with the times? Or do you still need someone running ahead of your motor car with a lantern and firing a warning shot at each intersection to let people know you’re coming?

    1. Thanks, Brian, for your comment. First, when speaking of children only, it is okay to use the term “adopted child”, but for the larger discussion —and those who are making their voices heard — we are adopted adults and we are called simply “adoptees”. And yes, medical histories are indeed important. The adoptive family medical history doesn’t really impact on the adoptee, unless you are talking about environmental factors such as second hand smoke, but adoptive family genetic medical conditions don’t have anything to do with the adoptee’s personal medical history and that of their biological kin. For the most part, the adoption reform movement is concerned with adoptee access to our OBC’s — our original birth certificates. Medical histories are important and so are reunions and developing relationships with our blood kin. And yes, people still discriminate against illegitimate bastards and orphans — it happens all the time. Just listen to the language people use to cuss out bastards. Orphans are held captive by laws meant to legitimize the illegitimate. I’m glad you have a progressive mind, but society as a whole, does not. Thank you for commenting.

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