A Feminist No Longer

And here is the point I am desperately trying to get across to the rich, white women I know who think they are feminists:

“Intersectionalists want adoption and surrogacy available for their sociopathic convenience; they want someone else to endure the pains of pregnancy and childbirth while they focus on their careers. And this, folks, is evil. A choice is not a choice when it is the only option, and when coercion is the driving impetus. Adoption is not a reproductive right; no infertile/wealthy woman or LGBT has a right to the uterus, vagina, and baby of a girl or woman. This is exactly what present-day feminists ignore: YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL A GIRL OR WOMAN WHAT TO DO JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A VAGINA. YOU DO NOT HAVE A RIGHT TO ANOTHER WOMAN’S CHILD.”

 

Thank you, for your post.

The Burning Times of Vesper Woolf

Before college, I wrestled with the term “feminist,” as second wave feminism had barely hit my home – the American South. My forward-thinking family members didn’t embrace the term despite being pro-woman. I didn’t understand why. But I came to understand when I realized it is women, not men, who cause girls and women the most heartache and trauma. There’s more female-on-female violence, be it mental/psychological or physical, that goes unreported than unreported male-on-female. Whether it’s dangerous cultural “hen-pecking orders” that incorporate barbaric practices such as female genital mutilation, or for-profit private adoptions driven by women of means coveting children of the poor and marginalized, women are womankind’s own worst enemy.

I once clarified I was “second wave” in a feminist sense, yet second wave feminism ushered in a lot of toxic attacks on femininity, motherhood, heterosexual sex, and privacy. Second wave feminism created the “supermom” syndrome that has now…

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#MeToo: Hijacked by Rabid Feminists… Anyone Surprised?

Yes, Amber LaShea Geislinger, you are very beautiful. Unfortunately, your natural beauty is a threat to some women.

My 31 year old daughter and I had a discussion about the #MeToo Movement yesterday. Both of us noticed that some women are over-reacting, or covering up (as in your post here) the legitimate complaints of sexual harassment and sexual assault made by other women.

This #MeToo movement, and the take-down of prominent men has another unfortunate side to it. That is, our friendships are at stake. What do I mean by that? Men are afraid of women now.

Two situations occurred to me over the weekend. One, a long-time male friend of mine confided in me that this has gotten out of hand, that he feels any little gesture could be misunderstood. Here is a man who always has a bright smile on his face, never has anything bad to say about anyone, and is as sweet as pie. I could never see him harming any woman, yet, he is even afraid to ask a lady to dance with him.

The other situation was a case of mistaken identity by a professional musician. After the show, fans gathered around, talking with each other and the band. Someone came up from behind me, put his arm lightly around me, but when he saw I was not the woman he thought I was, he backed away and repeatedly said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I thought you were someone else.” I hope that he felt better to see my smile and to hear me reassure him that I took no offense.

What are we becoming? It is good that sexual harassment and sexual assault are finally being recognized and taken seriously, with consequences for the perpetrator, well, for the most part.

But the back-lash from other women, as Amber LaShea Geislinger points out, and the uneasy atmosphere between men and women who are genuinely simply socializing, is putting a strain on us all.

The Burning Times of Vesper Woolf

Last week, my state – Alabama – held a special Senate election. And the entire world watched. Doug Jones, prosecutor of the 1963 16th Baptist Church bombing, won over the child predator Roy Moore. My husband and I got up early and voted to save the rest of America from the influence of Alabama’s infamous resident racist misogynist. Roy Moore, a creepy evangelical, pulled support from counties it’s best to just drive through:  St. Claire County and Cullman County, the latter was the seat of the KKK for decades.

I support the women who have spoken out and tweeted #MeToo. Yes, it’s a gutsy thing to take up for yourself. And let me tell you how that went for me just over a decade again in a small college town in Alabama:  It didn’t. I was passive-aggressively threatened by the administration, primarily the office of Human Resources and its Director…

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Hope is Not a Mercy in Adoption

Here are the words of a mother-of-adoption-loss. Her grief compounds with each passing day, and year.

It is important for the general public to realize that there is a MOTHER who grieves silently behind the scenes when you see a “happy” adopted child, a child who is so very “well-adjusted” that surely there can’t be anything wrong with adoption!

If adoption is so wonderful, then why is society creating misery by separating mothers and their babies?

velvet bocephus

It’s that time of year again that I cannot be held accountable for what I say or do. I keep my contacts with the outside world short and sweet. I refrain from all sad stories and troubles that are out of my control. I put my blinders on and focus on the day to day- get out of bed, eat, breathe, bathe.

This time of year- Thanksgiving through my lost daughter’s birthday in February- leaves me lost at sea in emotional wreckage. Like clockwork, I know its first claims on my generally sanguine disposition; that heavy dull ache in my chest settles in just days before the holiday season begins. My sharply-crafted strength of sarcasm loses all its defenses. That heavy dull ache is here to stay for a third of the year, then a brief respite, back to preparing myself for it the following year. We have become so familiar with one another, that I have even given…

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